bully

chicken george reflect on his history of suspeced bullying, or showing his love to the world

one of the topics i have been thinking about over the last weeks or so was, am i an art bully as my exgirlfriend has pointed out to me, and some other folks, bully, ? me?!,
what the hell,
maybe a smart ass, and joker , .
Alot of the problems arise from people i know who are bit sencitive about being involved in my comedy bits, like it or not, to me its always been funny and i have a talk trash get arise outta some one, kinda approach, but also hopefully using common sence in the process, .,
i don't know why but it always goes down to my famliy, or my "treatment " of my younger sister, we used to fight alot or i would tease her and she would expload basicly a bit of a rage'aholic, when we grew up she came very condition to me picking on her, but in a sorta annoying troublsome way, it was easy to set her off, all i had to do is enter a room and look at her the wrong way and she would fly off, but it also had a history,
i was sorta hard on her in th begining, but as we entered highschool i chilled out because her rages were more insain and serious, but i always felt she missed the point to all this, its called lightening up and not taking everything so seriously, we have an ego battle to a degree, and she was determind to have her revenge in the long run, ahhh,
back to bullying, alot of my friends find what i say and do as funny if not healthy, a bit absurd, but i have these other friends and i would credit tonya for it ,that get irrated by my sarcasm, find it a bit mean, \
It got me thinking of the kinda guys i hung out with way back, we would say anything to each other call each other names play tricks try and humilate each other all the time, it was a form of role playing to a degree and would keep the spirits up in this macho negative gun hoe kinda stuff all the time 24/7 , i have take it over to the "art" crowds and women, and for some reason it drives them crazy.
i guess in the long run i have to know when to turn it off, which is hard cause i am jacked up on coffee half the time and or catching a beer buzz, both make me scream out with enthusiam to bust some balls and have some fun, its ment outta love.,
i like being truthful and comedy can make the stuff surface in a less than defencive mannor,
but its brought my being into question about how much is to much, its been a challege here in SA i am around alot of new folks and i am used to my isolation, plus i basicly don't give a fuck, it must be me getting older, i am less intimadeted by people, or nervious so i just let it fly with any sence of consiquinces, getting to know tonya has been like that, i just let it fly, bettter to let it lose than be pation, plus its entertaining and you learn somethign about people,
ahh enough of the psyche bs, , i am ready to head out to the desart, 450 miles away,

Posted by chickengeorge at October 20, 2005 12:41 PM