About Chickendeadchicken: December 2009 Archives

I guess if anybody out there is following, i pulled all my vids off Utube--
Well, i think last Saturday night i realized i am addicted to the net, and its effecting my moods about how i operate.,, so i put the whole net show bizness in perspective.

I think i want to go back to a pre net age somewhere 2002, where my life is not divided so much.

From around 2004- till now, From the conception of this site, then to ebay04 to utube06 and my own site GZ.com07 i thought this would build up and more activity would come out of it. After UTSA05-07 the idea of going on the road, to here,( Big Bend)09 but when all the efforts to make stuff and get it out there fell , works like "cann hamm" or "Books of BBQ" i had to rethink exactly what kinda art i am making and where its going?,
Comming out here to Redford, i thought "to hell with the fine art world, i am gonna stick to ebay and utube from here on out let my addiction just implode on itself."
and it did.
Folk painting started on ebay,(i have always had folkish taste) and it was a weekly activity that allowed me to get mad , drink, obsesse or go crazy in one night's posting of work. It collected some sales but its like a gamble, you win some and lose some, i won mostly but not enough,-- in late 2006 i added utube and launched my idea of the stalker Texan folk artist , (the folk Dual) and videos reflecting on what i was making in the studio,then to this comical soap opera. But knowing my ideas of what i like in movies "Horror" ,i wanted to be more creepy and gross , my version of reality based male stalker humor and Redneck folklore and cooking, but ment to be a bit extreme and uncomfortable but funny.
So why stop all of it,!
on Friday i was trying to crack these four painting for this Big Bend Calender idea, and i realized, man i am losing it! my skills to paint,
i think easy folk expressionism, where character out weights the art, where sentimetallism and modern purity have its place, but this place don't reside in my talents anymore , i don't have a folk cannon nor have i ever had the pations to build one.
i have to improve the picture, it my nature this game keeps going if you make the rules harder and demands high.
I am mainly evolving into an impressionist type like a George Bellows or Sicklert. or Beckman
my downfall
Also this is about my need to be a compulisive comic in the art zone, where alot of beer, and BBQ take place the need to act pathic or loser syndrom stuff --
"bad fair art", " uncomfortable romances", media culture pop obsession painted at a thrift store, food art body parts as a sculpture, crap you would dig up,-- i think the need to play these situwations out. see the drama,( on art projects, not real life read above) thru has destroyed my harddrive, so to speak

And with utube , i am finding ways to rationalize anther night of getting fucked up, which is something i am trying to control, cause i love doing that so much, So George off utube means being more often sober.

all these factors are messing up my capiblity to resolve a painting,.

and as i have learned form listening to others i am not clear or serious,
which i might think is an asset by Austin Slacker standards but i wantta get paided somehow. and make work that is a benchmark in West Texas Painting,
so i got to make good paintings not some folk/outsiders jackoffs, so to speak, even know i enjoy doing that,.
And last saturday as i lost a friend in the deal i realized there isn't much of a future in the net, the results are..?.. and i want to go underground for a while, and step out of the lime light..
and get back to the studio where i am not performing for anybody.

So with that
CDC might be real slow for a while until I recharge myself and figure out what's next to entertain you folks out there with ...
more pictures ,
i suppose thats all i have to offer