About Chickendeadchicken: December 2009 Archives

I guess if anybody out there is following, i pulled all my vids off Utube--
why?
Well, i think last Saturday night i realized i am addicted to the net, and its effecting my moods about how i operate.,, so i put the whole net show bizness in perspective.

I think i want to go back to a pre net age somewhere 2002, where my life is not divided so much.

From around 2004- till now, From the conception of this site, then to ebay04 to utube06 and my own site GZ.com07 i thought this would build up and more activity would come out of it. After UTSA05-07 the idea of going on the road, to here,( Big Bend)09 but when all the efforts to make stuff and get it out there fell , works like "cann hamm" or "Books of BBQ" i had to rethink exactly what kinda art i am making and where its going?,
Comming out here to Redford, i thought "to hell with the fine art world, i am gonna stick to ebay and utube from here on out let my addiction just implode on itself."
and it did.
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Folk painting started on ebay,(i have always had folkish taste) and it was a weekly activity that allowed me to get mad , drink, obsesse or go crazy in one night's posting of work. It collected some sales but its like a gamble, you win some and lose some, i won mostly but not enough,-- in late 2006 i added utube and launched my idea of the stalker Texan folk artist , (the folk Dual) and videos reflecting on what i was making in the studio,then to this comical soap opera. But knowing my ideas of what i like in movies "Horror" ,i wanted to be more creepy and gross , my version of reality based male stalker humor and Redneck folklore and cooking, but ment to be a bit extreme and uncomfortable but funny.
So why stop all of it,!
well,
on Friday i was trying to crack these four painting for this Big Bend Calender idea, and i realized, man i am losing it! my skills to paint,
why?
i think easy folk expressionism, where character out weights the art, where sentimetallism and modern purity have its place, but this place don't reside in my talents anymore , i don't have a folk cannon nor have i ever had the pations to build one.
i have to improve the picture, it my nature this game keeps going if you make the rules harder and demands high.
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I am mainly evolving into an impressionist type like a George Bellows or Sicklert. or Beckman
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my downfall
Also this is about my need to be a compulisive comic in the art zone, where alot of beer, and BBQ take place the need to act pathic or loser syndrom stuff --
"bad fair art", " uncomfortable romances", media culture pop obsession painted at a thrift store, food art body parts as a sculpture, crap you would dig up,-- i think the need to play these situwations out. see the drama,( on art projects, not real life read above) thru has destroyed my harddrive, so to speak

And with utube , i am finding ways to rationalize anther night of getting fucked up, which is something i am trying to control, cause i love doing that so much, So George off utube means being more often sober.

all these factors are messing up my capiblity to resolve a painting,.

and as i have learned form listening to others i am not clear or serious,
which i might think is an asset by Austin Slacker standards but i wantta get paided somehow. and make work that is a benchmark in West Texas Painting,
so i got to make good paintings not some folk/outsiders jackoffs, so to speak, even know i enjoy doing that,.
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And last saturday as i lost a friend in the deal i realized there isn't much of a future in the net, the results are..?.. and i want to go underground for a while, and step out of the lime light..
and get back to the studio where i am not performing for anybody.

So with that
CDC might be real slow for a while until I recharge myself and figure out what's next to entertain you folks out there with ...
aahhh
more pictures ,
i suppose thats all i have to offer